....

this is non-sense. i could message you. but no. i'm a coward. i'm scared. i'm scared you'll be cold. i'm scared of you telling me i was wrong. you know i hate it. though i'm not supposed to. i just don't know. last week i've been listening to your favorite music, your favorite songs, just to find a way to be close to you... i miss you. i miss your moods. i miss you being weird. i don't know. i'm a fuck-up. i screwed this. so bad. i don't have any excuses. i love you so much. i lost you, i know. or maybe not... i just don't know... i want my bitch back. so badly... i am always keeping your message window open... maybe it will flash, but it doesn't. 
i just am afraid to message you... because i know i lost you, and i know...i am stupid.
i've been mean, and yelling at you, when it wasn't your fault at all...
i am sorry.
just know... that you're still the best of my bests... i wish i could have you back.
like i once had you...