we're about to get...BLOWN.

da. nu stiu. adica stiu, dar in fine. m-am plictisit. era o melodie de-a lu` Jason Derulooooooooo.... oh! :| OKAY.

si Tumblr is dead.

am facut o obsesie sa scriu pe blog din nou. de parca citeste cineva...lol. ma rog, blah blah blah.

mi-e somn. tre` sa ma bag in pat sa dorm, stiu, dar parca nu m-as ridica de aici, de pe scaun, si nu stiu de ce.

ascult Last Night, Good Charlotte. ciudata melodie. O.o

chiar mi-e somn. sincer. mai fumez o tigare si ma bag la nani mufulos XD
m-am trezit la 2 jumate azi-noapte si n-am dormit de atunci de loc. mi se inchid ochii.
o sa adorm pe tastatura in juma` de ora, am mai patit-o lol.

bai, mi se intampla ceva :| grav. adica iar obsedez dupa Bill.
GEEZAZ, like WTF.
pe Tom nu-l mai sufar, ma jur. :| adica nu ca nu-l sufar, ca nu mi-a facut nimic saracu`, dar mi-e mie asa, aiurea, dupa toata faza aia.
si deci da, Bill.
:|
:|
:|
nu, ca m-am tampit, e lucru sigur.

PROTECT ME FROM WHAT I WANT.
pentru ca nu vreau sa patesc ca acum ceva timp cand nu-mi pasa de altceva, in afara de Bill.
OMG, nu cred, am inceput deja.
Doamne ajuta...

Da si deci... Amintirile ma chinuiesc.

obisnuiesc sa ascult melodile ce ma faceau sa ma gandesc la...el. la acel "el" care de fapt nu este un el. acel el, de care am crezut ca e tot. 
se pare ca n-a fost sa fie dar in fine. 
cine stie... 
am acest feeling, si ma simt aiurea, cand ma gandesc la TOT. si stand eu si gandindu-ma asa, realizez ca totul a fost o minciuna. da` si ce minciuna. 
of viata mea, of inima mea, cum ar zice unii.


de exemplu, acum ascult Love the way you lie part II, pe care bineinteles o ascultam cand am aflat de chestia cu Emily. 


...si daca stau sa ma uit in folderul cu muzica, toate relateaza un anume moment. toate imi amintesc de...ce a fost, de ceea ce nu va fi niciodata.
doare. doare ca dracu`, dar ce pot face. sunt o dobitoaca, stiu. 
my own fault, dar...dar. nici nu am cuvinte, nici nu stiu ce sa spun, cum sa descriu tot ce simt. toate se repeta in mintea mea. chiar si cand inchid ochii, imi imaginez ce imi  imaginam ca va fi. 
sunt o proasta, si stiu ca multi mi-ai zis sa am grija, ca nu e adevarat si sa aterizez singura inapoi pe pamant, ca pana la urma avionu` meu o sa ramana fara combustibil si o sa ma prabusesc.
si uite ca m-am prabusit...si in ce still. n-am avut nici parasuta, ce cacat. 


...."Don't hold your breath..." , ca sa vezi ce zic... doamne, si iar am inceput sa plang, si iar stau si ma gandesc cat de proasta am fost, si ce-am facut... nu pot sa cred. atat de incredibila sunt. 
si acum stau si-mi plang de mila pe blog, pentru ca na, asa sunt eu... laaaame.
in fine. 
ce s-a intamplat m-a marcat pe viata, mi-a lasat niste urme mari, si nu cred ca se pot vindeca vreodata...


de ce sunt cu "el" acum...? pentru ca nu stiu, sincer. 
si nu, nu e vorba de chestia ca m-am obisnuit.
e chestia ca am pus sentimente la bataie si ca eu chiar tin la tipa asta, chiar daca am crezut ca e altcineva. si as fi vrut sa fie altcineva, pentru ca na... prostia omeneasca, ce sa-i faci.


..."What do you want from me...?" , exact cum ma gandeam... acum imi trec prin minte momentele cand ma certam cu "el" si ascultam melodia asta si ma facea sa ma intorc la "el" mereu... 
ce patetica sunt. ce retardata pot fi, nu cred.


mi-am pierdut interesul in orice. nu-mi mai pasa de nimic, nu mai cred in viitor, fericirea e dusa pe apa sambetei. 
parca as fi murit.
parca m-as fi teleportat in alta lume. stai, de fapt, m-am intors la realitate. wow, it sucks. i need a bullet straight through my brain, right now.


poate schimba tot.


poate daca as adormi, si nu m-am mai trezi, as putea sa traiesc acolo unde mi-am dorit mereu... in bratele lui, ascultand sunete de chitara, vazandu-i zambetul ala de cretin, pe care il iubesc... desi este asa departe... si nici nu are idee ca exist... doar daca nu m-as mai trezi...


3rei Sud Est - Vreau Sa Te Uit.


bun. deci, da, o sa inebunesc cat de curand. 
nu mai pot, si imi vine sa plang non-stop.
de ce eu. de ce. 
ce fraiera sunt...


"incerc din rasputeri ca sa te uit.. incerc..sa nu sufar,sa nu plang... timpul...este acum dusmanul meu.. orele trec din ce in ce mai greu. am sa plec...departe de tine, sa te uit...asa este mai bine… inima imi spune sa raman cu tine, cine ma-ntelege,oare cine? asculta-mi sufletul cum plange ca un sunet de chitara.. inima imi frange… am sa plang.. departe de tine… sa sufar.. asa este mai bine. simt prezenta ta, imi faci viata grea… ajuta-ma Doamne...sa pot uita… vreau sa te uit… sa te scot din mintea mea, din viata mea…."


pot sa mor acum... te rog...?

treygotthatfieuh asked:
If you're comfortable with being with her even though she lied to you and you feel confidant that she is telling the truth now, then that is great for you. Now that you know who she really is, that is a better basis for a relationship than hiding behind a celebrity persona. If she really makes you happy, that's all that matters...but be smart about it.

treygotthatfieuh asked:

One of the main things to remember when it comes to the internet...is that you have to be really careful, especially with people who claim to be celebrities. I'm not saying its your fault for believing it...because there are some fans who can be extremely convincing when it comes to pretending to be someone...but its highly unlikely that Bill or Tom would start a relationship with someone they met online without trying to meet them or get to know them first. It was wrong of someone to mess with your head like that...but it does get better. You can take what you learned from the experience and be more careful now. Its not fair, I know, but at least they came clean to you before things could have gotten nasty.

Perfect Killer. [ wrote on 04 February, 2011]

time.. time is the perfect killer. it kills all.. it kills all the feelings that shaken us... it kills hate, it kills love.. it kills all. nothing remains...
like the universe doesn't want us anymore... it erases my memory.. it erases my senses.. it deletes my line.. it changes my face.. it steals the meaning of life.. it dispels the stress.. it takes all of us..
and behind doesn't exist nor gates nor keys.. and you act like you'll always be here.. you sit when you should stand.. you shut when you should scream..
and you attack.. you attack people that loves you thinking that they make you slow down.. it's a crazy game where you pretend that everything's ok, just like the rest.. and just like them, you destroy everything that's united us.. and fail.. and i'm sorry.. but that's not my only regret... cause time is the perfect killer.. it kills us with each breath we take.. it makes us forget who we once were.. it makes the others forget that we was.. it's the last witness, it knows my life by heart..  but in the end the world will want to forget us and itself.. and the peace will come to stay..
time follows my steps.. time imitates the way i walk..
tell me.. why do we lose? why do we sell ourselves? why we fight in tandem with something invisible?
i feel something burning under my skin.. maybe part of it was useless in life..
but there is always someone better.. one that has more.. one that I listen while i pass along.. too fast, almost like the wind.. cause over time, man created the word.
since then, every attempt is doomed to failure too.. and i see a lifetime payed, a feather worn, tired..  thoughts written on a paper by the one whom hesitates.. a bribe.. instead of a soul, a stain.. a tumor that extends.. a man caught in the threads of a poor vineyard.. a huge universe between two hemispheres of the brain.. a brain that plays at night and hears the whispers.
i feel a death wandering around..
in some moments, time takes me in places.. with names in my mind that i can't pronounce..
and i assume only the role, only smoke, the basement of a very normal life.. just buried dreams of glory.. just scared followings on a lost road.. without a shield in fatal fights...
now.. on to your thoughts.. i see that time separated you from your infected world.. from the outside world.. from what you was and what you are and what you'll be..
lonely.. abandoned.. without moving.. and above the sun is gone.. don't you think that now the world's only in deadly thoughts...?
LIKE THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T WANT YOU ANYMORE...