Teenage angst.

I’ve been feeling worn with limbs that fall like the loose threads at the end of your sweater, the one you keep tugging closer to keep you warm. But you stop once you realize that the cold always finds a way inside. Maybe I am just bracing myself, I tell you. I am curling into myself until my ribs hold my head and my knees disappear into my chest because winter is coming. And we feel it even when we laugh and sigh against each other’s mouths, breath that tastes like cigarette smoke. We laugh because we know it’s coming and we know we can’t stop our hands from shaking.

Hair swings.

I’m forgetting. And that’s the last thing I ever wanted. Between sips of gas station coffee and the melody between the tips of my fingers and the keys—I kept finding your brown eyes, staring back into mine. Even when the paper had ran out and the typewriter ribbon didn’t have any ink left to give me, there was always you. I jotted down your name in the corners of notebook paper and the napkins that jumbled together on my nightstand, wondering how something so beautiful can build me up and destroy me with no mercy. Maybe you liked the fragments of me underneath your fingernails to keep. Now, I’m forgetting. The way my name curled up against the inside of your lower lip and the taste of your tongue. How it feels like to have you open your door for me without having to pry it open myself. Knuckles to hinges. This is not what I wanted.

I hate sleeping alone.

I never asked for diamond rings. I never wished for the moon or for the stars.
I just wanted somebody who'd hold me, even just for a while, someone who'd tell me that everything's gonna be alright.
I don't want beauty, because it doesn't last.
I don't want perfection because I'm not myself either.
But when the dusk sets and everything goes to death silence and the whole world shuts off around, I just want that somebody to be by my side.
A kiss, a touch... gently to settle down to sleep in someone's cozy arms.
I don't think that's much to ask for since I'm not high standard when it comes to love.
Sincere, loving, caring... that's all I am, that's all I want.
I'm one of a kind because I give everything and I don't expect much but for that.
Time has come when I really feel bleeding needs and cravings for body warmth.
I hate sleeping alone.